Love is There
by EmeraldTigerReign
Summary: Dean has been in Love with Sam for a very long time but he knows nothing will come from it. However, when he sees something he preceives as Sam not even wanting him around, he decides to leave. Will he realize whats what in time to Save Sam? Dean/Sam
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **_So I know that some of the things here are a little off, but hear me out. In my story, Season 5 didn't happen. When the boys killed Lilith, they stopped the apocalypse from happening. By killing her, they stopped all the seals and none of it happened. They killed her and by doing that Lucifer has to find another way to walk on the earth. _

_And I know that Dean is not normally so emotional, but these are his deepest thoughts and I'm playing on his insecurities, but I promise that it Sam and Dean will be together by the end of this fic, and Sam will make Dean realize just how important he is to him. So forgive the slight Angsty!Dean for now, please._

_Also... I'm not abandoning my other stories, I'm just trying to get the creative juices flowing for them. Hopefully, this story will help! I have a majority of it written so we are all good on it. Woot. _

_Anyway, constructive criticism is welcome! Or just letting me know you like it works too! _

_Thanks!_

_EmeraldTigerReign_

_~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~_

**Love is There**

By: EmeraldTigerReign

Dean Winchester knew four things for certain. One is that Led Zeppelin was one of the best bands of all time. Two is that his Impala is the most beautiful car out on the road today. Three is that Apple pie is the most delicious thing that was ever created. And Four he is madly, irrevocably, and desperately in love with his brother. He also knew that it would never go anywhere. So I guess that was five things huh?

Dean wasn't stupid like many people believed. He knew that if Sam ever found out his true feelings, Sam would leave. Again. Dean knew he couldn't handle Sammy leaving again. It would kill him. He couldn't handle going back to that bravado personality again. Sammy leaving is why he couldn't trust anyone with his heart now. Imagine what he would be like if Sam left again? A cold and empty man thats what.

And Dean knows that he deserves every single bad thing that happens to him. After all, what kind of sick freak falls in love with their kid brother? Actually _lusts_ after them? It was wrong in so many ways in the eyes of his brother. Yeah, he said brother and not society. Fuck society, he wasn't the least bit normal to their standards anyway, but his brother was his everything, and what standards Sammy lived by, so to would Dean.

But back to him deserving the bad stuff. It was true, Dean felt. He did deserve everything. That was why he stayed in hunting. Not because he enjoyed it, although to be honest some parts were awesome, but because he had to make up for his freak feelings.

Dean has only ever been himself with one person, and one person only. And that was Sammy. Granted he never told him how he felt and that he had untameable desires to ravish him, but with everything else he was completely himself. His dad was never around enough to really get to know Dean, and even if he was home, Dean was the soldier, not the son. He could hardly remember ever being anything but the soldier for his dad. But with Sammy it was different. He was Dean, the brother and friend. Just Dean.

And then, Sam left with no word but to ask to go to the bus station. And Dean? Well Dean had never felt such pain. To know that the one person he loved, and he had Loved Sammy by that time, didn't even care enough to tell him he was leaving. That they didn't trust him enough to want what was best for Sammy. It hurt. He had been taking care of Sammy his whole life. It was second nature and to know that Sammy just didn't want him around anymore. Damn.

So after he had dropped Sammy off, with barely a goodbye from Sam, Dean drove around for a bit, and cried like a frekkin' girl. Dean had vowed to never open himself up to anyone else then. If his own brother didn't want to be around him anymore, and his father just used him to get revenge, obviously no one else would want to get close to him anyway. So to stop himself from ever feeling this type of pain Dean became this cocky, over-confident fake persona. Like I said, Dean was far from stupid, he learned from his mistakes.

And then his Father went missing, and despite how much he didn't want to, he pulled Sam out of his Apple-Pie life. He regretted it to this day. Just another sin to add against his brother from him. Sam deserved happiness. He deserved Jessica and a Law degree, and everything Dean couldn't give him. But at the time he needed his help and a huge part of him, the part that was still in love with Sam even after the pain, just wanted to see him again.

And for the first couple months, despite the heartache from Sam at losing Jess, they were the best of Deans life in the four years that Sammy had been gone. But when Sam had told him that he never wanted to go back to the way things had been, to be Dean's version of family, Dean was again reminded why he never opened up. Sam just had this way of getting him to, and it seemed also always had a way to hurt him. But Dean was a master at hiding how he felt. So he pushed the hurt back and vowed to let Sam go whenever he decided he was fed up with Dean.

Dean would just pick up the pieces of his heart and go back to being alone like he always did before. You'd think he would be used to people leaving? They all did eventually.

And when Sammy died. Well, that hurt, but in a different way. At least when he left Dean, he knew Sammy was safe and happy. But dead. Dead was not safe, Dead was gone. Dean had never, or would he ever regret giving his soul up and going to hell for Sam. It was something that he would do over and over again. Even the torture. It was for Sammy, so of course he would. Because, again, despite the hurt and the pain, Dean would do absolutely anything for Sammy.

Then, Sammy met Ruby. Dean had never met someone he hated more than that bitch. Dean knew part of it was the fact that she was a demon and almost started the apocalypse, but the other part was jealousy. Plain and simple. Dean had gone to _Hell_ for Sammy. Ha gave his _Soul _up for Sammy, and Sammy chose her. Chose to go Darkside. That probably hurt the most. To know that his soul, his very _life_ was nothing compared to a Demon to Sam.

Even in the end, when Ruby showed to Sam what Dean knew all along, Dean forgave and Sam still wanted to leave. Wanted that normalcy, although he never voiced it out loud. Dean had spent his whole life watching his Baby Brother, first as his brother then as he got older Dean watched him as the unrequited Love of his Life. He knew his brother, inside and out. Sam was just staying and hunting with Dean out of some form of obligation. Or, until more options opened up. Dean wasn't sure. And despite knowing that, Dean was selfish. He wanted Sam around.

Oh he knew that the time was coming where Sam would leave again, and like he said before he would let Sam go without complaint. He would just continue to hunt, until all the wrong things he felt for his brother was more than made up for, which knowing that if he hadn't stopped after all these years he wouldn't. So Hunting it would be for the rest of his days.

Maybe he would travel outside the US. He always wanted to go to Mexico. Or maybe Canada. Hunt some beasties over there. That sounded like a plan. Go places without memories of his brother. Make new ones. Yeah, when the time came, thats exactly what he would do.

And Dean, for the first time in awhile fully relaxed with a plan in mind for the future. He was able to close his eyes and rest. It would be a cold a lonely one, a future without his World around everyday, but he would Survive. He always did.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **_So this is Sam's side of things. I will admit, for me, it's easier to write Dean. I love Sam, but as an older sibling it's easier to relate to Dean. So if y'all got any constructive tips to writing Sammy I would more than welcome them! Thanks!_

_So our boys think a lot alike huh? I won't make it too hard for them to figure things out, they've been through to much crap already, but it also won't be a walk in the park! But this I promise: They will be together!_

_And again, sorry for the bit of Angsty!Sam, but I wanted people to understand his thoughts in the events leading up to this point. These first two chapter are lead-ups to the real story, which starts next chapter!_

_So if ya got any tips let me know! Or if just wanna let me know whatcha think that works too!_

_Thanks!_

_=]=]_

_EmeraldTigerReign_

_~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~_

**Love is There**

By: EmeraldTigerReign

Sam Winchester was brooding. And those closest to him would tell you that it was everyday occurrence. But this time he wasn't thinking about himself, but now Sam was thinking about his brother. Dean had started to pull away since the fiasco with Ruby. Oh, he knew his brother forgave him, when Dean Winchester told you something, you could take it to the bank. But despite that, he was still pulling away. And Sam hated that.

Sam loved his brother, probably more than he should. And he never regretted anything more than the way he has treated these past years. But he had had to get away! He couldn't handle the pain anymore.

And that is what his home life had become when he was 18. Watching Dean, wanting Dean, _Hell_,worshiping Dean and knowing that nothing but heartache could ever happen between them. Because he knew Dean would punch him and then never speak to him again. So, his solution? Leave. After-all, if the temptation wasn't there then it would go away right?

But it didn't. Heck, it hadn't even diminished. He thought that perhaps with Jess he could learn to get over these feelings, and it worked as a distraction for awhile, but the love and longing he felt for his brother never ever went away.

But even with his secret life and secret feeling in between, they had still planned a life together and he didn't want her dead. She was the Best Friend he had ever had besides Dean and it did hurt when she was gone.

But even with the melancholy of her death on his conscious, those first few months with his brother were absolutely amazing. They were like before. Dean was always there. But pretty quickly the pain came back. And when his Dean wanted things to go back to the way things were, he knew he couldn't let that happen. The pain was just too intense. Its like it was never ending with Dean.

He would always be his kid brother to Dean, and for the most part that was ok. But Sam couldn't let things go back to that time. He couldn't be that close again. Wouldn't let himself be that close to Dean again. He would rather be lonely than feel nothing but pain. And so he told Dean that he didn't want to go back to the way it was before. And Dean seem to understand that. At least he hoped he did.

Sometimes Dean was a hard person to read. He has so many layers way down deep and to get to the real emotions you had to get to the very core of Dean to find out the truth. Dean was a natural when it come to wearing a mask. Sam used to be able to read Dean just from a look, but since he came back? All Dean did was wear masks. Even with Sam. And that hurt. I mean why couldn't Dean open up to him anymore? What changed?

That was the only thing that changed to Sam. His brother still looked after Sam. Still protected him from everything. Was still the big brother his Dad had ordered Dean to be. And Sam was grateful if a little annoyed that Dean sometimes acted like he couldn't take care of himself, but at least he knew Dean cared.

Sam just didn't know to the extent his brother cared. To sell his soul? For Sam! It was unbelievable and Amazing and Everything he ever wanted, but it also pissed him off. Because Dean was so much more important than Sam! Sam was the overly large freak with Demon blood in his system. But Dean? Dean had the biggest Heart for his family, and a Soul of Gold to match.

But to know that he, Sam, was that important to Dean, it was fantastical. To go to Hell for him. Yeah, you try not falling in love with person doing that for you. Its not possible Sam thinks a majority of the time.

And when Dean died. When he had to watch him be clawed up? Yeah, Sam had never felt such pain, such desperation for anyone. Dean was leaving him and all he could do was watch. To know that he failed in getting Dean out of his Deal? Yeah. He kinda just became numb to everything for a long time.

He had very easily fallen into the bottle. And that left him open to the mercy of Ruby. God. He had never hated anyone with such a passion as he did that bitch! She had used his own insecurities against him. Playing him like a finely tuned Piano.

When Dean returned, he was over joyed. He brother, his life, heck his _Universe_, had returned to him. Granted, he had fallen into bed with Ruby, again being seduced by pretty words. He had just wanted to feel. To believe even for a second that someone wanted him again. And Ruby knew that and was conveniently open to the idea. But despite his for sex life, Dean was back and Sam all was right in Sammy World. But only for a bit.

Dean, God Deans instincts were spot on. He knew she was a bad apple from the get go and never stopped trying to warn Sam. But Sam being who he was refused to believe he could be wrong. He pushed his brother away. With all his insecurities being shoved at him by Ruby, and the addiction to her blood, he just left. He chose Ruby. He chose a Demon over his brother. The brother, the man he Loved, the man who sold his soul for him. The man who died and went to Hell for him. The man who was so good and so much like the Arch-Angel Michael the Angels brought him back.

God, his stomach still rolled just thinking about his betrayal.

Cause he knew that that is what it was. Complete and utter betrayal. To his morals, his ideals, and his Family. To Dean.

And still! Dean was there protecting him. Coming after him and stopping him from making the biggest mistake of his life. He was right there making sure the Seals didn't open. He pretty much stopped the apocalypse from happening. Because Dean never gave up on him. Never, no matter what Sam did. He knew his brother would always be there. It made Sam feel safe in every since of the word because of that.

After they finally destroyed the Bitch, he apologized. And Dean just forgave him. Like that. Said no chick-flick moments and they moved on to the next hunt. It was amazing to know Dean forgave him, but Sam couldn't forgive himself. And he vowed then and there to never leave his brother. He would stick by his brother no matter how much it hurt.

He was In Love with his brother, and for the first time in his life Sam was ok with that. Because Dean? Dean made it so easy to love him. Would Sam ever tell? Probably not cause he knew that it would change things irrevocably between them. Oh Dean wouldn't leave, Sam was sure of that now, but things would change to much. And that was something Sam didn't want. So he would live out the rest of his days loving someone who would never return those feelings. And he was ok with that, simply because it was Dean.

And with that thought firmly in his head, Sam turned over and was able to relax. Cause Big Brother was there and would always be. Cause Sam wasn't going anywhere. And Sam slept with a smile on his face for the first time in a long while.


End file.
